Part 2: Our Journey with J...a multi post about fostering a child with chronic illness

Thank you for your patience! Part 2 is here...this part is what I explain as God's hand. I'm not here to debate God with you. You can chose to believe or not to believe. As for me and my family we chose to believe that God's hand was guiding our journey.

If you haven't yet read Part 1 you can do so here.

To refresh you; I left off with coming home from my run asking my husband if he wanted to foster one of my camp kids to which he said, "Yes" without hesitation. But let me fill you in on the backstory as to why this was somewhat frightening. My husband had just been let go of his job of almost 20 years just a month before. While he did get a buyout package we were in no way financially set to take on another child; let alone one with Type 1 diabetes, mental health issues and unknowns. I remember talking with him about this and how awful the timing was...how this was the last thing we should be doing.

But we both felt led to do this and at total peace in the decision.

The next day I went into work and contacted her Court Appointed Social Advocate or CASA. I emailed her and asked what she thought about having J come live with us. She of course was super excited and contacted some people at Jobs and Family Services or JFS. I received a phone call from someone at JFS who drilled me on my relation to J, what I was wanting to do, if I was in the "system", foster parenting classes, kinship and a host of other things that I had no clue about. All I kept saying is that we wanted to get her out of the hospital. I  hung up the phone a little deflated as it seemed like this was going to take a looonnng time. The thought of foster parent classes, certification, home studies; etc. It appeared as if it was going to be another 2-3 months before we could even get her out of the hospital and that was too long. Our only hope was kinship. Since I had an established relationship with her previously through camp this was our angel.

I am a do-er. Those that know me well know that when I am set on something I go for it. I'll attack it at every different angle to get the desired outcome. My wheels were spinning. I have a friend who had fostered to adopt. I called her to bend her ear...thirsty for information, answers and hope. I explained our situation. Told her everything about J and she literally began screaming. I was thinking to myself that something must have had happened to her but no...you see this is where God's guiding hand comes in. You see; over the years my friend had gone on to get her master's degree in social work. She was currently employed by the hospital where J was staying AND... J was her patient!!

There are no coincidences.

She went into action. She did everything professionally. Told us who to contact, get our background checks. paperwork filled out. She checked with supervisors, got us a visitor code and got things in motion and then excused herself from the case due to conflict of interest. She was amazing!

Within a few weeks we were able to visit J, give her hope that she had a life outside of the hospital. That there were people fighting for her and ready to help her get where she needed to be.

Our number one goal = get her out of the hospital!!

We were getting closer to that goal.

Our Journey with J...a multi post about fostering a child with chronic illness

Memorial Day weekend 2018 would've marked one year that Jay had come to live with us.

If you are looking for a happy ending you won't find it at the end of this chronicle. In the end it was the ending that was to be...but it's not rainbows and unicorns.

The Beginning: 

I was a camp director for a local diabetes camp for several years. It was a wonderful job that I loved. I enjoyed talking with newly diagnosed families and how much camp would benefit their child. How scary it was to hand your child over for a full week but how necessary it was for everyone. As your child needed to meet kids going through life like they were and parents just needed a break from the D life. I enjoyed interviewing the staff each year. I loved seeing campers grow into counselors who then grow into careers in the medical field and come back to camp to serve as medical staff. I loved getting to know the medical staff outside of our endocrinologist department...how much they truly love their jobs and the kids! I loved seeing the kids come in on a Sunday; sometimes scared other times happy; and then learn a new diabetes skill. I watched a camper give herself her first insulin injection (supervised!) and other campers try new insulin pump sites. The smiles on their faces made my day..they were so proud of their accomplishments!

But then the paperwork...that I could do without. There was a TON!!

Registration opened in February and families couldn't wait to sign their kids back up for camp. This particular camp would sell out each year so it was imperative for parents/guardians to get paperwork in to secure their child's spot at camp for the year. As camp director I have to look at all the paperwork that comes in from a camper. So not only additional medical issues but mental and behavioral issues.

There was one camper that I had grown quite fond of over the years. In my first year as camp director I noticed she had been placed in foster care as her mother wouldn't take care of her diabetes. As a mom of two T1D girls I couldn't imagine NOT taking care of them...I mean, sure, I would love a break but to actually not take care of them?! I didn't know that was an option. This particular camper had been placed in the cabin with my eldest daughter who served as a counselor over the years. This camper had a smile that would light up a room and was just loud and fun. We always enjoyed seeing her year after year.

In 2017 after looking at her paperwork I see that she had been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. It sadden me. I remember thinking,"not sweet J"...that this stupid chronic illness had taken its toll on yet another one (and mental health and chronic illness is a whole different post)...in further review I noticed that she had been actually living at the hospital. I knew her Court Appointed Social Advocate, or CASA, over the years so I inquired as to what had happened. 

In talking with the CASA she shared that she had been at foster family number 2 and had some issues with self harming. It freaked out the foster family; as it does anyone dealing with kids who self harm. They had taken necessary precautions but in the end Jay landed in the psychiatric ward at the local children's hospital. At the time of my contact with her CASA; she had already been there for 8 weeks as they couldn't find placement for a Type 1 diabetic who self harmed and had suicidal thoughts.

I was heart broken...I knew this girl.

I felt helpless.

Later that night I went to run with my running group and shared my work day with my friend. After I was finished telling her my story she said, "what are you going to do?"

I replied, "nothing! What can I do?!"

She would later share with me that she knew I was going to do something.

I went home from my run and was greeted by my husband who asked how my day was...I blurted out; "want to foster one of my camp kids?" without hesitation he replied, "yes". I asked if he wanted to hear the story and he said, "no need to; someone needs our help."

And thus began Our Journey with J.